life, interrupted

…has it been a long time since I’ve posted.  Still have not gotten a computer, so I go to the library whenever I get a chance.  The only bummer is that they have a 1 hour time limit, and I never seem to have enough time to get everything done!!

As of right now I have 20 minutes left, and I hope I can make them count.

Well, right now I am a deputy jailer at the local county jail.  I was working at the prison close to here (Northpoint Training Center) but got laid off about a month after the riot (I was working in the kitchen and canteen and everything got burned down.  Still not able to rebuild yet, so they had to let some of us go).

Trying to find my (ex) husband down in Florida so that I can get a divorce from him to marry D.  We are now living together, trying to get things straightened out (bills paid off, money saved to buy a house, find H. so I can divorce him, etc.)

I’ve cut all my hair off (was mid-way down my back) and that shocked a lot of people, but most of them really like it. Not that it matters what they think, I just like the compliments (LOL!).

I think I may be making progress in getting reconnected with my parents (we had a major blow-out about a year and a half ago, and things have been pretty touchy since then).  I’ve even been invited to a family get-together for the first time in almost 2 years (and no one balked when I asked if I could bring D along).

I’m very nervous about it, as I don’t know what has been said about me to my other family, so I don’t know how I will be received, but at least I will have D there with me for support.

Anyway, just thought of something else I have to check on before I get booted off of here.

Well, I haven’t been on here recently because I moved into my own apartment.  I don’t have a computer or internet access (yet), and this is the first time since the beginning of the month that I have had a chance to get on and check my email and blah blah blah.

The day after I got my refund, I rented a one bedroom apartment and got quite a deal on it.  The other day my stimulus check arrived, and am now pondering what to do with the money that I have.  I have been contemplating hanging on to it and using it for an emergency, but I’m also wanting to get some more furniture.  I am right now sleeping on an air mattress, and would dearly love to go out and get a bed.  I have a couch and a chair, but I need a coffee table and a small table to go in the kitchen.  I also want to get a few knick-knacks to make the place really feel like my own.  I didn’t have much when I moved in and I still don’t have much, but it’s a great feeling having a place of my own and truly being independent.

The promotion at work officially happened at the same time I moved in.  I’ve got the manager shirts, and am responsible for running and closing the front of house.  I have had a problem with one employee who seems to think that just because he knew me as a crew member before he doesn’t have to listen to what I say and will mouth off at every opportunity.  The store manager, assistant manager and I called him in early the other afternoon to straighten things out.  I’ve only worked with him one day since then, but it’s been better.  I just hope it stays that way.

Well, that’s about all I have for right now.  I don’t know when I’ll be able to post again, but I’m looking into getting a computer (either a desktop or laptop, haven’t decided yet) and internet.  But that won’t be until after I have my apartment set up the way I want it to.

Well, I was very surprised when I got a call from my mom this afternoon telling me that my tax check arrived in the mail today. I really wasn’t expecting it for another couple of weeks. But that’s good. I won’t have time tomorrow (as I work from 9 to 4) but I have a day off on Wednesday and plan on stopping by the bank and opening an account with it, and then going out and looking at apartments. I’m really hoping to be in something by the end of next week. I don’t know how long the bank will want to hold on to my check in order for it to clear, but I don’t think I’ll find something before it does. I’m just so excited about it…finally, my goal of being self-sufficient and independent is with-in reach. I can just taste it… On another note, D met me after work today and we went riding on his motorcycle. It was really fun. The weather was warm and the sun was out. It was a beautiful day. And being able to spend a few hours with D was just the icing on the cake. We rode to Mercer County and stopped at the Huddle House for coffee (and a burger for me) and just sat and talked. I enjoyed it when he was talking about his motorcycle and the deal he got on it, blah blah blah, because it’s something he really enjoys and is passionate about. I could see the little twinkle in his eye when he was talking about getting it re-painted, and then when he mentioned that one day soon we’ll just take the whole day and go riding. I fall more and more in love with him each and every day. There’s always something new that I see in him, and if it’s not that then it’s his … I’m trying to find the right word for it. It’s like, I see certain things about him, and I just love him more and more when he does those things. The everyday things, I guess is what I’m getting at. Like, when we are bantering and he makes a smart remark to me, he will raise his eyebrows, put his hands on his knees, lean back, and give me a look like “how do you like them apples?” It puts a smile on my face just thinking about it. And that’s another thing I love about him. We can sit and have a serious talk, sit and talk about how our day was and what happened, or just sit and pick on each other. He always tells me “you have to think quicker than that, baby!” And when he asks “how much do you love me?”, I say “mucho grande” and he responds with “taco bell”. The first time he did this, I gave him a weird look because I didn’t know what he was talking about. He said “that’s the only Spanish I know, and I thought it sounded sexy.” He really can be a big goof-ball sometimes. But that’s good. I don’t want to be serious all the time. He even deals with my choice of music selection. Whether he’s driving or I’m driving, it doesn’t matter to him what I listen to. Sometimes we agree on what to listen to, as most of the time I listen to hard rock, and so does he. But other times, I feel like listening to something different. He hates rap. With a passion, he hates it. But he didn’t have a problem with me popping in my Eminem CD and singing along. He got a kick out of it. We were on our way to meet a friend of his from work, and the only thing he told me was that he was going to turn it down when she pulled up, as he had a reputation to uphold, LOL!! I can really see myself being with this man forever…I know that may sound a little crazy to say, as we have only been dating for three months. But the heart wants what the heart wants, as I’ve heard, and what my heart wants is him. I just hope he knows that. It was so cute the other night. I don’t know how we got onto the subject of poetry, but we did. He told me that he writes pretty well, and being in the happy/giddy mood I was, I practically dared him to write one right there on the spot. So he asked for a pen and a piece of paper. While I was in the bathroom, he started on it. I sat there for about 5 minutes when he told me I was making him nervous and he had to stop. But then he read me what he wrote, and my heart just melted. No one has ever done that for me before, and what he said…it just made me so happy. He’ll probably get upset that I’m doing this, but I’m going to post what he wrote, just because I liked it so much. It is a work in progress, and he almost didn’t let me keep it because he said he wanted to finish it, but I managed to get my hands on it. Here’s what he wrote: Read the rest of this entry »

Unfortunately, G, D and I were unable to go roller skating, as we mis-read the information posted on the door.  The hours we read were summer hours, and they don’t start until June 2.  So, we drove to Nicholasville, because I remembered seeing a roller rink in the phone book.  Upon trying to figure out where this place was, we found out that it was sold and turned into a used car lot.  Big Bummer.  So we drove back to Danville, got some ice cream and took G to the park for a few hours.  It was really cool hanging out with G and D, and seeing how they interacted with each other.  G even told me on the way to the park (we were driving in separate cars at that point) that G loved D, and he thought that D loved him.  And while we were at the park, D kept calling me “Little Mama”.  It really did turn out to be a great day.

The next day at work, Manager L made an announcement about my promotion.  Turns out that I’m not going to be Night Shift Front Line Supervisor (and not sharing with N, as she had previously told me), but I was going to be Night Shift Manager, and I wouldn’t be sharing it with anyone.  I opened that morning and was off by 2, so I decided to celebrate with D.  One bad decision turned into a bunch of other ones, and things didn’t go well.  I ended up hurting D by what I had said.  I wish that I could take everything back, but there is no way that is going to happen, so you just have to deal with it and go on.

D and I spent the whole weekend together (well, most of it, as he had to go out of town for a little while and didn’t get back until late, and then he had an errand to run the next day for which he couldn’t take me with him).  It was freaking awesome.  We hung out, watched TV, did a little bit of running around…then I had to get up early the next morning because I had to go to work at 5:30.  That kinda sucked, as I could have just laid there for about 4 more hours, but we had to both go to work.  And I got a little surprise, as well…I wasn’t expecting D to come in for coffee, as the restaurant was way out of his way to go to work.  But he showed up anyway, and it brightened my day.  We met up after work and did something we shouldn’t have done.  Once again things were said and feelings were hurt.  He came by today for my break and apologized, and we agreed that there would be no more of that.  Period.

His brother was in an accident last night, so he is up with him right now.  I hope he made it there okay, and that he won’t have any problems coming back.

As of tomorrow, I will be the new Shift Manager, and will be working days this week so that Manager L can train me and what-not.  Kinda nervous about it, but this is what I wanted: to be moving up.

I checked on the status of my refund again this morning, and they said that it had been mailed out on Friday, so now I’m just waiting for the check to come in.  I keep expecting something bad to happen, so I haven’t even gone out and looked at apartments yet.  I think I’m going to wait to do that after I have the cash in my hand.  I don’t want to set myself up for any big disappointments.  (I’m very good at doing that.)

My dad wants to sit down and work out a budget with me, so that I can realistically look at what I can afford.  As of right now I’m not worried about it.  My hours at work have been picking up, and now with being a manager, I will be getting 40 hours a week.  Plus, I’m pretty sure this promotion comes with a raise (Manager L may wait until she’s sure I’m going to work out before actually giving it to me, though), so I’m not really worried.  I know the max amount of rent I can pay, and a couple of the places that I have looked into are lower than my max plus include utilities.  So really all I will be having to pay is rent, food, gas and insurance.  As long as I don’t fall into old habits of “Hey, I have money, I wanna go spend it!!”, I think I’ll be okay.

D was telling me what a great weekend he had with me.  I really enjoyed it myself.  He was telling me that the next step was a week, and I just kind of laughed.  Not laughing at him.  I don’t think I’d be able to get a week off of work (and at this point I don’t want a week off, as that will cut the flow of money).  Believe me, I would love to be able to spend a week with him, I just don’t think it’s possible right now.  Besides, once I get my apartment, he’ll be able to come over and hang out (which is something he can’t do here).

It will all work out in the end.  I just have to stop my pessimistic thoughts and focus on the positive.  As D was telling me the other day: there are a bunch of doors that are now opening to me.  I just have to be the one to decide how I step though, and how I deal with things.  Well, I kind of read a lot into what he said, as he didn’t really say that, but it means basically the same thing.

Well, my dad just came and told me that he has a preliminary budget put together, so I’m going to get off of here and go take a look at it.

Hopefully the next time I come on to post something, it will be saying that I have my tax check and am on my way to go look at places.  I’m really trying not to get excited about it, but I just can’t help it…

Today is my day off.  Every other Friday for me is payday, and the first day I have off after payday I take my son, G, out for the day.  Most of the time we go out to lunch and then to a movie or the park or something.  He wanted to go to the movies to see Horton Hears A Who again, but it isn’t playing anymore.  I was talking with D about what I could do with him and we came up with roller skating.  G is 4 and I don’t think has even seen a pair of roller skates before, much less participated in the activity, and it’s been 12 years since I even put on a pair of roller skates.  This should be very interesting!

G decided he wanted to go to McDonald’s for lunch (I always let him pick on these special days), where we will be meeting D.  Then we’re off to the roller rink.  I convinced D that he will also be putting on roller skates and joining in, but he isn’t too fond of the idea.  I told him I was bringing my camera, and I thought he was going to have a heart attack!!  I wish I still had my digital camera so that I could post a few pictures here, but I lost that it one of the many moves I’ve had over the past couple of years.

I’ve also been trying to decide what I’m going to do with my tax refund when it comes in.  I’m dying to get my own place, but both my mom and B said that I should invest in another car, as they aren’t sure how long this one is going to continue to run, and they don’t want me to get into an apartment and then have my car die, leaving me in the shit.  I think my car will be fine.  It runs great (gets almost 30 mpg, too).  The only thing mechanically wrong with it is it likes to pop out of 5th most of the time.  So I drive in 4th.  No biggie.  I know I’m going to have to replace it, but I don’t think it’s a necessity right now.  I’m leaning more towards getting an apartment.  The next thing is do I want to have a 2 bedroom or a 1 bedroom.  B says that I should just get a 1 bedroom, as G won’t be with me full time, but I think I would be cheating him if I didn’t give him his own room while he was with me.  Besides, he’s getting older now, and him sleeping with B is fine, because that’s his daddy, but just like I had to call a halt to G showering with me, I think he’s old enough now to where he doesn’t need to be sleeping with me.  I don’t know.  I’m going to have to compare prices of 1 vs. 2 bedrooms, and see where I stand.  Actually, the first thing that needs to happen is I need to find out how much my refund will actually be (as I guess I owed some back taxes from a couple years ago) and then go from there.

***

SWEETNESS!!!

I just checked my status online, and it showed where they took out what I owed them, and I’m still getting a pretty good sized amount back.  So, I think I’ve decided – I’m going to use that money to get an apartment and some cheap furniture.  It said that my refund would be mailed on May 2, so I’m planning on being in my own place the end of June or early July.  I hope this all pans out, as I’ve now gotten my hopes up and I’m already mentally decorating.  LOL

That’s a phrase that I use quite often. Such as, if someone says “you know, that’s not really the way you should do that” I respond with “Blah Blah Blah”. Or, if I’m describing something lengthy and I want to cut it short, I will finish with “Blah Blah Blah”. Such as, “It was really busy, we were shorthanded, and Blah Blah Blah.”

D is a lieutenant (and one of the top supervisors) at the local prison. He has also been in the military and has done other things that would qualify him as a “bad ass” (I’m not going to elaborate, as he likes his privacy, and he doesn’t like other people knowing about him, so you’re just going to have to take my word for it). He is also a 3rd degree blackbelt in Kenpo (I think that’s how you spell it), and generally looks the part of the “bad ass”. He doesn’t take any shit, and will tell anybody (and I mean ANYBODY) to fuck off. That’s just the way he is.

Knowing all of this (and more) about him, it strikes me as really funny that he’s taken to saying “Blah Blah Blah”. He was telling me yesterday of a situation where he was talking with the warden, and before he knew what he was saying, out popped “Blah Blah Blah”. The warden looked at him sideways, and questioned him about it, because he’s usually the upright, stern, factual individual, and out pops some teenage rendition of “whatever”.

It’s not nearly as funny writing it here as it was when he told me about it, and I’m sure it was even funnier in person.

Hat-tip to Morrigan for the post:

A – ADVOCATE FOR: Equality and Justice

B – BEST FEATURE: My eyes

C – COULD DO WITHOUT: Ignorant people

D – DREAMS & DESIRES: To marry the man of my dreams and live happily ever after.

E – ESSENTIAL ITEMS: Car keys, cell phone, wallet, cigarettes…(never leave home without them)

F – FAVORITE PAST TIME: Curling up with a good book or curling up with that someone special to watch a movie and eat popcorn.

G – GOOD AT: playing the clarinet

H – HAVE NEVER TRIED: bungee jumping (sounds like fun, though)

I – IF I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS: I’d pay off all of my bills, buy a new car, buy a house, and save the rest.

J – JUNKIE FOR: Cartoon sitcoms (Family Guy, American Dad)

K – KINDRED SPIRIT: *D*

L – LITTLE KNOWN FACT: I put up a wall and hold people at arms’ length not because I’m not a people person, but because I don’t want to let anyone “in” and put myself into a position to be hurt.

M – MEMORABLE MOMENT: The day my son was born (and the events leading up to it)

N – NEVER AGAIN WILL I: become a druggie.

O – OCCASIONAL INDULGENCE: chocolate covered cherries

Q – QUOTE: “I only look sweet and innocent…”

R – REASON TO SMILE: My son and *D*

S – SORRY ABOUT: all of the costly and dangerous mistakes I have made.

T – TAG SOME FRIENDS: Daydream Writer

U – UNINTERESTED IN: knowing all of the mechanical stuff about computers

V – VERY SCARED OF: Drowning

W – WORST HABIT: Smoking, rolling my eyes, speaking before thinking

X – X MARKS MY IDEAL VACATION SPOT: A week(end) with my hunny in an isolated cabin on the lake

Y – YUMMIEST DESSERT: Rocky Road ice cream

Z – ZODIAC SIGN: Aries

I called Manager L yesterday morning to ask her if I still had a job or not, and she asked that I come down to the restaurant so we could “chat”.  To make a long story short, I was not fired, nor in trouble, and was presented with a promotion to Night Shift Front Line Supervisor.  Hell yeah.  I was also told that Manager T told Manager L that morning that when I left work the other day, I went out into the dining room to “cut up” with D, who was sitting and drinking his coffee.  I laughed it off, and Manager L said that she didn’t put any stock into what Manager T said, because she knew me better than that.

I get home from buying a cell phone today to find a message from Dairy Queen on the answering machine.  It was Manager T wanting me to come in and close, and I needed to be there right away.  I laughed out loud.  First, he lies on me to the GM and then calls me on my birthday to come in and close, when I’ve told him for days that I had plans with my family.  What a jerk.

A saying that my mom mentioned when I told her that is still stuck with me:

“The face that you slap today may be connected to the ass you might have to kiss tomorrow.”

Or something to that effect.

And if he asks me when I see him next why I didn’t return his call or come in to close, I will tell him exactly why.  I’ll bet he won’t be expecting that.  Maybe next time he won’t stretch the truth so far that he trips and lands on his face in it.

Prick.

Well, I found a “backdoor” way in to make a post.  I had to sign in at the troubleshooting forums, and noticed that I could get to my blog from there.  Still won’t let me log in from the main page, however.  Weird.

Anyway, I went to work last night and ended up having to leave.  Out of the 45 minutes I spent at work, most of that time was spent in the bathroom.  I had a fever of 102 and felt like I was going to pass out.   I let Manager T know that I was going to be leaving, and told him that he needed to call someone in to replace me, and I would wait until someone else showed up before I left.  He told me that I “knew the consequences” if I left.  I turned around and told him to fire me for leaving, but I didn’t think it was very sanitary to require someone with the flu and strep throat to be making other peoples’ food (I found out a few minutes later that there were customers standing behind me…oh well).  Just before I walked out the door, I told him to have someone call me today to let me know if I still had a job or not.

I got home last night and collapsed on the couch and passed out for a few hours.  I woke up, sipped on some 7-up and went back to sleep.  I woke up this morning soaking wet, with a normal temp.  I’m feeling 200% better today than I did yesterday.  Still feel pretty tired, but I think I’m going to be going down to the temp agency today to apply for a couple of jobs they have open.  If nothing comes through from that, then I’ll find something else.

I’m pretty pissed off at Dairy Queen at the moment.  Not just because of this whole sickness thing, either.  Manager L promised me that when she found enough people for night shift, she would move me back to days (opening).  When I looked at the new weekly schedule on Sunday, I found out that she had hired someone to open the store every day.  D said that I should talk to her to find out what’s going on, but she hasn’t been there when I have so I haven’t had the opportunity.  It just really confuses me.  She sat down with D a couple of weeks ago and went on and on about what a good worker I was, how I would be up for management, that I was the best she had, blah blah blah.  And then she pulls shit like this.  I’ve never been late, never missed a day (except yesterday, but I didn’t call in, I showed up until someone else could get there), always came in whenever they needed someone…*sigh* I guess that’s what I get for going back to fast-food.  It’s a very low-respect job for low pay, crap hours…but at least it was a job.  Now that B has a job, he will be paying me back the money he owes me, plus my refund should be here in a few weeks, so I’m not totally in the shit.  But I’m going to be finding another job ASAP.

I’ll probably take a shower and go down to get that job at the call center.  Or I’ll just stay home and relax and take care of that tomorrow.  I don’t know.  I’ll probably do it today to ensure that I start on Monday.

Let ‘ya know how it works out.